I’m sitting here thinking of all that has changed in the last few years, all the people I’ve said goodbye to and all the times I’ve wished that change was not a process I’d have to go through.
I’m not sure where I’ve been lately, last month I seem to remember feeling pretty good about life but I know that since then I’ve allowed myself to disappear into the walls of my apartment.
As I look out the window, at the sunny bright blue sky, I am trying to figure out what emotions are flooding through my veins. It has taken me many minutes to realize, to my surprise, that I am relaxed, at peace, calm.
It is surprising because for so long that is not the feelings that I have come know
I feel like I’m waking up from a long dreary dream. I mean nothing has changed, I’m just as separated from my friends and christian community as I was yesterday, my courses are still unbearably bad, I’m still in the worst shape of my life (mentally, physically, and spiritually).
Where is this peace coming from?
I can only attribute it to God and the prayers he must have heard last night.
His peace which passes all understanding!
